Disclaimer: I apologize in advance to any Japanese speakers (or 
for that matter, English speakers) who I might offend with this 
bit of "literature".  The spellchecker is Microsoft Word, and is 
set to US English.  Everything else is not my fault.

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	It was a peaceful day in Nerima Ward.  Peaceful, expect inside 
the Tendon Dojo, where Ranker Saitama was busy arguing with his 
fiancée, Akin Tendon.  Their shouting was overheard by their fathers, 
who looked up from their game of shaggy in irritation.

	"Ranker!" shouted his father, Genome.  "You should treat your 
fiancée with more respect!"

	"Don't yell at my daughter, Ranker!" yelled Soup Tendon, 
Genome's friend and the father of Akin.

	Ranker turned to glared at the adults in irritation, which gave 
his fiancée time to pull out her mallet and send him flying into the 
Oki pond.  "Ranker no baker," she muttered angrily.

	A wet, female Ranker pulled herself from the Oki pond, 
muttering something about uncut tomboys.  She had barely dragged 
herself back to the dojo when she heard a familiar cry of "Ranker!  
For your crimes against Akin, you will pay!"

	She turned.  Standing in the yard was her rival, Yoga Hibachi.  
Yoga held his umbrella in a fighting stance, and Ranker sighed 
irritably.  "What do you want, P-Chan?"

	"I want your life, Ranker!"  With a cry of rage, Yoga charged 
at Ranker, yelling "Bakes Tensest!"

	This was too easy.  Ranker dodged the first blast, then waited 
until Yoga had closed in.  Then, with a loud cry of "Mocha Taikisha," 
she sent a ball of kid hurtling toward Yoga.

	Yoga dodged, but barely.  He charged forward again, and Ranker 
led him around and around, always dodging, until the last moment, 
when the spiral was completed, yelled "Hire Shorten Aha!"  It was 
more than enough, and Yoga was blasted over the wall and out of sight.

	Ranker fidgeted irritably.  He went inside and got some hot 
water, and then decided he needed to get away for a bit.  He left the 
dojo, walking along the busy streets until he saw the restaurant 
belonging to his old friend, Ukyo Kong.

	He smiled.  That was precisely what he needed.  He walked in, 
and saw his friend standing behind the grill.  "Hey, Urchin."

	"Rancho!" she shouted happily.  "It's good to see you!"  She 
gestured to the grill.  "The usual?"

	"That'd be great, Urchin."  He smiled, and sat down.  No sooner 
had he sat down, though, than the stool leapt away, shouting, "You 
shall not steal Ukyo away from me, Saitama!"

	Ranker sighed.  It was Tubas Cornea, a master of disguises and a 
major pest around the Urchin's.  "Hey, Tubas."

	"You shall not steal Ukyo away from me, Saitama!" shouted the 
seat.

	"Leave me alone, Tubas!  I was never yours to begin with!"  
Ukyo shouted angrily, and with a solid whack from her spatula she 
sent him spinning through the restaurant wall and into the distant 
blue yonder.  "Don't worry, Rancho!"  She smiled dreamily.  "You're 
the only one for me!"  She leapt forward, glomming Ranker eagerly.

	Ranker finally worked his way free from Ukyo's grasp, and after 
finishing his food and saying good-bye to Urchin, he left.  He 
decided it would be safe to return home now.  Akin would probably 
have cooled down a bit, anyway.  He got home, and jumped to the roof 
in order to avoid Genome and Soup.  He crawled through the window to 
his room, and made his way to the bathroom.  No one was inside, so he 
stripped down and washing himself off first, finally slid into the 
hot bath with a sigh of bliss. Nothing felt better to him after a day 
in his crazy life than a nice, hot soak in the furry.

-THE END-